I suspect that many of you would privately love to see me actually receive the
punishment spankings and public pantied exposure I've been asking for for so
long - and I would also imagine that most of you probably already suspect that
if those realities actually present themselves I will most likely try to weasel
my way out of taking the kind of extremely public exposures and extreme no-mercy
spankings that I have dared all women to subject me to!
The first photo (above)
is of me wearing a pair of Vanity Fair style 13001 Lace Nouveau pink nylon full
brief panties and a ruffled soft pink nylon babydoll as I am bending over
slightly presenting my panty-clad bottom and holding out a yellow plastic
bathbrush. Admit it - wouldn't you love to see me actually receive the kind of
severe no-mercy spankings I deserve, administered fiercely and relentlessly to
my pretty pink nylon panty clad bottom until I become so traumatised that I
might never be able to stop crying?
Are you curious about how and why I came to
believe that I both deserve and should submit to the kind of severe and repeated
spankings referred to in this blog post?
In the paragraphs below I explore and
relate some of the origins of my cross-dressing, the origins of my spanking and
humiliation fantasies, of my fantasies of / desires for repeated relentless
world-wide pantied exposure, humiliation, lifestyle sissification (and much
later on, just a few of the extremely masochistic spanking, humiliation and
degradation fantasies that I have fantasised submitting to and being subjected
to in real life.
Starting at the beginning: When I was only 5 weeks old I got
kidnapped from my natural mother by adoption agency employees who physically
kidnapped me from my natural mother (at a home for unwed mothers). They took me
across state lines, initially rented me to a foster mother, took me from my
foster mother at 5 months old, and then sold me for adoption. When my adoptive
parents got mad at me they told me I should be thankful they adopted me, because
I could have grown up in an orphanage. We lived close to a primary school
(kindergarten through ninth grade).
Growing up I got severe hairbrush spankings
from my adoptive mother every day after school. I blocked out her excuses for
doing it. She spanked me until I cried almost every afternoon or evening, from
the time I entered kindergarten until the middle of sixth grade, which was more
than two years after I had reached puberty. She would hold me and kiss me after
each spanking.
The third grade teacher used to spank the kids in her class. Our
desks were lined up in double rows side by side facing and touching each other.
She would have us take our sneakers off and tie the laces together, hanging the
sneakers over the backs of our chairs. When kids kneeled on the chairs, bending
over the desks to talk to each other more privately she would spank them with
their own sneakers.
One time when a kid talked back to her she called him up to
her desk in the front of the classroom, pulled him over her knee and gave him a
good hard spanking right then and there in front of the whole class. She kept
right on spanking him until he was crying and sobbing loudly. She then allowed
him to walk back to his desk, holding his sore bottom with his tears streaming
down his cheeks. I found myself fantasising about that teacher giving me
spankings like that. My adoptive parents failed to explain to me how my sexual
organs worked or how sex worked.
When they realised that I'd reached puberty (at
age 9) my adoptive father got the task of telling me the "facts of life". He
said that girls had a hole between their legs and that when the time came I
would want to put my penis in it, that it would hurt her, but that she would
like it. Neither he nor my adoptive mother ever told me anything about how sex
was supposed to work, or feel, how pregnancies occurred, and never told me
nothing about orgasms. I was left completely ignorant about how my sexual organs
worked.
One summer, when I was ten years old, our family stayed in a rented
vacation house that was about ten feet away from the house next door. They had
three daughters. The house we were renting had carpets rolled up and piled on
top of a bed in the bedroom that was closest to the neighbours' house.
At night
I saw both of the oldest daughters changing their clothes and walking around in
their panties and bras. Later that night I went into that bedroom again, wearing
only my T-shirt and underpants. I felt nervous but excited as I walked around
the room, wondering if there was a chance the girls next door might return to
the same room they had been in before and might see me in my underpants. I
climbed up on and straddled the rolled up carpets. It felt good, and I started
to dry-hump the carpets in my underpants.
Fairly soon I had a throbbing orgasm.
I was scared, and didn't know what it was. I thought it might be taking years
off my life. When I had that first orgasm from dry-humping a rolled up carpet on
top of a bed in an unused bedroom in that summer (after fourth grade), I did not
know what an orgasm was or what cum was. I thought it might be taking years off
of my life every time I did it.
It turned out that the youngest of the three
girls next door did see me parading around in my underpants and humping the
carpet.
The next day the neighbour's youngest daughter accosted me outside and
then teased me about it relentlessly. letting me know me that she had seen me in
my underpants, and watching me squirm as she described in detail what she had
seen. I felt extremely embarrassed. She seemed to take great delight in watching
me squirm and turn red with embarrassment while she was teasing me and asking me
humiliating questions about every detail - questions that I was unable to answer
adequately.
The next night I was remembering the shame and humiliation at her
having seen me humping the rolled up carpet in my undies and about her teasing
and making fun of me about it. The embarrassment of having being seen/caught in
the act did not stop me from masturbating - although I did not know that was
what I was doing. I thought about her making fun of me while as I dry-humped
against the corner of a bed's mattress the next night. The next day I tried
dry-humping a pillow, resulting in me having throbbing wet orgasms.
The pattern
had taken hold, but I still did not know that what I was having were called
orgasms or what they were or what the cum was. I though I might be taking years
off my lifespan every time I did it - but that still didn't stop me. I also
fantasised about my third grade teacher catching me doing it and spanking me
severely while I was dry-humping the pillow.
When school started again in the
fall our class had a new fifth grade teacher. She wore steel tipped spiked heels
and she yelled at the class a lot. I remember that at one point she made me feel
embarrassed, and that turned me on, especially when she yelled at me.
I began
having fantasies about her seeing me in my underpants, making an example of me,
and and giving me severe no-mercy spankings. At home, after school and again
after I went to bed, I would hump a pillow in my underpants and having orgasms
as I was fantasising about girls seeing me in my undies or about them ganging up
on me to give me spankings. It was that year, in fifth grade, that I began to
make some of my fantasies about getting-caught with my underpants showing come
true.
I started making a practice of sitting on top of the back of a sofa in
bright sunlight wearing just my bright red T-shirt and a pair of tight white
cotton underpants with my bottom almost touching the glass of a large picture
window facing South towards the front sidewalk - with the backside of my undies
very clearly visible in the bright sunlight less than fifty feet away from where
the kindergarten through ninth grade girls were walking by on their way home
from the nearby elementary and junior high (middle) school.
I also stood in a
second floor bedroom window in my underpants whenever the girl next door was
visible in the neighbour's windows, less than 30 feet away. I would peek out
from behind the window curtain beside the couch to watch their reactions and see
them laughing. I could hear their laughter and comments.
By seventh grade I had
gotten so notorious for my practice of sitting in the window in my underpants
that some of the girls had nicknamed me 'The Underpants Kid'.
One of the girls
slipped a paper 'news' note into the school's very prominent glass covered
bulletin board in the hallway of our K-9 elementary and junior high school.
A
girl passing passing me in the hallway said: 'Hey underpants kid! You're getting
famous - check the bulletin board!' I did check it. There was indeed a note that
had been posted conspicuously on the locked glass covered school bulletin board
(underneath the glass) that said: "underpants kid shows again".
One afternoon not long after that, wo girls accosted me on the sidewalk and one said "You're late for the window display",
and then burst into laughter.
A little while later, in my seventh grade school
home room, a girl yelled loudly at me in the classroom saying:
"Hey underpants
kid". "I saw you sitting in the window in your underpants!"
I turned red with
shame and embarrassment. She turned to her friends and said "We ought to take
his pants away from him and let him run around in his underpants."
Thinking
about it later felt very much turned on every time I remembering her saying it
and how she and her girlfriends had been laughing at me. I wished that they not
only would gang up on me and take my pants, but that they would then give me a
ferocious spanking before running off with my pants.
That same girl sat directly
behind me in music class. As I was bending over in my chair sticking my bottom
out she kicked me with her pointy shoe right in the asshole as hard as she
could, causing me to yelp in pain. She said loudly: "Keep your ass in." I never
told her, but I felt a mixture of love for, fear of, and sexual attraction to
her.
Her family moved the next year, and to this day I don't know whatever
became of her. A neighbouring girl, who was a year older than me, dressed her
brother up in a frilly dress and made him push a baby carriage. Thinking about
it that night as I humped my pillow I wished and fantasised that she would do
that to me.
By my senior year in high school my level of fame and embarrassment
from my addictive habit of sitting in the South facing picture window in my
tighty-whitey underpants as the girls walking home from school were passing by
had grown to be fairly extreme. I had come to feel overwhelming embarrassment
just walking out the front door. I became reclusive and managed to refrain from
my underpants-mooning behaviour for a couple of years.
When I was 19 years old I
saw a pair of full brief nylon panties (white ones with a blue floral print) for
sale in the isle of a local supermarket. I couldn't help myself. I felt
compelled to buy them, take them home and try them on. I loved how it felt
wearing the pretty nylon panties! From that moment on I have had fantasies about
being dressed as a girl, getting exposed and humiliated in my panties in front
of women, about being verbally abused and teased by them, and then being
repeatedly, severely and mercilessly spanked by them, the way my adoptive mother
continued to spank me for the first three years after I initially reached
puberty.
When I was 21 I showed the floral print panties I was wearing to
(panty-mooned) a woman I was seeing at the time and asked her what she thought
of them. She then asked me the following question: WHAT GOOD IS IT IF NOBODY
SEES THEM? I felt an overwhelming rush of combined embarrassment, excitement,
and apprehension as the realisation of the enormity and inevitability of my
destiny suddenly became very, very, very clear: At that moment I graduated from
showing women the backside of my white cotton underpants to showing women the
backside of my pretty ladies nylon panties (panty-mooning).
The 'Underpants Kid'
was about to become 'Mister Panty Buns'!
In the years that followed I went out of
my way to make sure all of the women I dated (and many of their female friends)
saw me in my panties. Eventually I set a goal for myself: To make sure that ever
female person in the universe would see me in ladies nylon panties everywhere
they looked! In the early to mid nineteen nineties I took numerous polaroid
photos of myself in many different pairs of panties. Some of the photographs
showed me bending over in my panties and holding out a variety of hairbrushes,
bathbrushes, belts, canes, whips and other spanking implements. At least one of
the photos had an agreement, signed by me, promising that all women had the
right to give me unlimited spankings, in public or in private.
Additionally,
sometime in the early to mid 1990s I took multiple in-camera edited / spliced
VHS video clips of myself begging and daring women to expose me publicly in my
panties, to give me no-mercy spankings in private or in public, daring women to
beat a full confession out of me about all the women I had panty-mooned, and to
turn the information over to female investigative reporters. I titled the video
'ASKING FOR IT'.
I tried but failed to getting the video published - I don't
remember where I had sent it or how it happened, but somehow my pantied selfie-video along with numerous photos
of me in my panties (some holding out paddles, bathbrushes, , belts, whips etc.)
found its way into the hands of a female video store owner who had herself, on
numerous occasions, seen me in various pairs of ladies nylon panties in a
variety of prints and colours.
In addition to being very outgoing socially she
was a member of a women's bowling league. I didn't really think she'd do it, but
I dared her to show them to all the women on the various bowling teams in that
league anyway.
I flushed red with embarrassment when she decided to take me up
on that dare, and commenced passing the photos around amongst each of the
women's bowling teams in the league... and smiled watching me squirm when she
informed me that numerous copies of the photos of me in my panties that she
passed around amongst the members of numerous women's bowling teams did not come
back.
To this day I have absolutely no idea what women or how many women do or don't have photographs
of me posing in pretty pairs of ladies panties.
As far as I know, she still has
a copy of that video (or maybe more than one) and many of the photographs of me modelling
various pairs of ladies full brief nylon panties.
Over the course of my adult
life I have received spankings from somewhere between 30 and 60 women. I
received all of those spankings on the seat of my panties.
In fact, 5 out of the
six women I proposed marriage to gave me spankings. When they had me tied up and
spread eagled face down on a bed with pillows under me to help get my bottom up
in the air. I would then proceed to hump the pillow(s) in my pretty panties
until the pain from the spankings got intense and painful enough that it forced
me to stop.
Unfortunately only one out of the hundreds of painful spankings that
women have given me over the years was captured on film:
In either 1995 or 1996
I starred as 'Richard Downs', on the receiving end in a very real, painful,
professionally made spanking movie directed by Jennifer Brooks. Jennifer Brooks
had previously starred in movies by California Star and by Shadow Lane. Miss
Brooks' husband, Nick Travis (who had also previously starred with Jennifer
Brooks in some movies at Shadow Lane) was one of the cameramen and a co-director
of the spanking movie I was in. My Co-stars who spanked me in that video were
Tori Sinclair (a.k.a. Lisa Comstock) who had done wrestling movies with
'Hollywood' of the 'Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling' (GLOW), and Felicia Gates. The
movie I co-starred /appeared in was Brooks Applications video number 28 titled:
'Vicious Whips and Canes". Tori and Felicia gave me a WELL DESERVED and fairly
severe 50 minute plus spanking. Near the end of the spanking video Felicia gave
me 60 ferociously severe smacks with a long handled hardwood bathbrush - a very
fond painful memory. Although the video is no longer available, here are two
archived links to an advertisement for it: "Vicious Whips + Bloody Canes",
starring Tori Sinclair and Felicia Gates and featuring Richard Downs (that's me,
@Panty_Buns ) the sexually harassing boss who gets taught a very painful but
well-deserved lesson. Here is
an archived review of the spanking video I was in ('Vicious Whips and
Canes')... ... and here is an archived image of the advertisement for that spanking
movie (that I was on the receiving end in:
img-Hot_Spankings-Vicious-Whips-And-Canes.jpg
http://web.archive.org/web/20020613060121/http://commerce.surfnetcorp.com/acbuild/showdetl.cfm?&DID=44&Product_ID=47&CATID=3
Vicious Whips + Bloody Canes - Jennifer Brooks Spanking Video #28
The spanking I
received in that professionally made spanking video was not even close to the
severest spanking I have received.
The most severe spanking I ever received was
from a woman I dated who got turned on by spanking me more severely than I was
able take.
After gagging me and tying me up face down spread eagled up to the
legs of beds face down with pillows under me to elevate my pantied bottom, she
used paddles, bath brushes, belts, spanking sticks, canes and whips, and her
all-time favourite spanking implement - wire coat hangers!
Despite the fact that
thousands of women and girls had seen me in my panties in person, it seems that
I still, even to this day, have have not yet managed to achieve the degree of
overwhelmingly unbearably embarrassing public pantied exposure and humiliation
that I yearn for - a level of realised embarrassment that is so extreme that it
will make me wish I could crawl under a rock to hide and never come back out or
see anybody anywhere ever again.
In more recent years I have taken multiple
photos and videos of myself modelling and doing customer reviews of ladies fully
opaque full coverage panties, releasing them into the public domain (labeled
FREE for Re-Use) on blogs and released them all into the public domain (Labeled
Free for Re-Use). I also took videos of myself modelling (back view only) and
doing customer reviews of various brands and colours of ladies full coverage
full brief panties.
I subsequently uploaded them to my PG 13 blog and to my
YouTube channel for all the world to see. Getting back to this mostly over 18
blog post: In my fantasies, and hypothetically in reality, i (a
lesbian-identified / cis-gendered male peeking-out-of-the-closet queen) would
play the naughty submissive sissy, who would get repeatedly spanked by groups of
cis-gendered women, ferociously, relentlessly, cruelly, mercilessly and
frequently throughout each and every five month period from November 1st through
April 1st, for failing to sufficiently accomplish sufficient world-wide exposed
panty notoriety during each of my required yearly five month regimens of
exposed-panty humiliation aversion therapy sessions.
These repeated public panty
exposure would be required from June 1st through October 31st of each year.
These repeated exposed-panty humiliation aversion therapy sessions would require
me to cooperate in whatever way necessary to generate my maximum possible
notorious world-wide fame for publicly exposing the backside of my ladies nylon
pantied bottom.
During the months of June through October I would have to submit
to regimen of humiliation aversion therapy requirements in the form of repeated,
very publicly documented extremely public exposures in my panties with the
maximum world-wide mass media coverage attainable.
I would be would be outed
even more thoroughly with photos and videos from the previous year's pantied
exposures, ridiculed, verbally abused with scornful, derisive comments and
derisive laughter. \
To ensure that I consented to the continuation of these
regimens (the carrot versus the stick approach) they would encourage me to hump
a pillow in my panties until I had orgasms while being ridiculed.
They would
taunt me and tell me to enjoy my pantied exposures now before the spankings
re-commenced in November.
From November 1st through April 1st of each year would be
punishment months for me, when any and all women who felt like doing so could
(and hopefully would) give me unimaginably extreme and ferocious permanently
traumatic psychologically damaging no-mercy spankings, in the form of combined
no-mercy Singapore punishment canings, tawsings, dragon canings, fanny-floggings
with a cat-o-nine tails and/or horsewhip, prison-strappings, wire-coathanger and
bathbrush spankings, sorority paddlings, and strokes with a sjambok or possibly
even plunge-lashes to my butt-cheeks with a signal whip or bullwhip.
I would be
required to submit to a minimum of 45 minutes of spankings/canings/ass-whippings
plus an additional half hour of re-spanking each and every week extending from
every November 1st through every April 1st..
During the months of April and May,
as my bottom healed enough to look pretty for my next five-month (June through
October) round of public pantied exposure aversion.with maximum attainable
world-wide media coverage, I would be confronted with photos and videos of the
previous year's pantied exposures and subjected to derisive and scornful verbal
abuse and interrogation sessions designed to make me so ashamed and embarrassed
that I will want to crawl under a rock and never come out again.
Failure to
admit to being a pathetic perverted disgusting sissy faggot asshole would result
in painful sessions with a violet wand on my testicles and very painful anal
enemas, insertions and anal stretching sessions, commensurate with how big of an
asshole I am.
The women punishing me would, with numerous female witnesses and
with a female attorney to strongly advise me against signing it, allow me to
sign a legally binding indenture, promising to submit to Six years, five months
per year from November 1st through April 1st, of unimaginably painful
'therapeutic' no-mercy psychological attitude adjusting punishment spankings
coupled with Six years, five months per year (from June 1st through October
31st) of repeated embarrassing public pantied exposure (aversion therapy).
The
contract / indenture would contain a clause IN BOLD PRINT specifying that at the
whim of any cis-gendered woman so desiring and demanding it, the agreement /
indenture would be automatically renewed up to six times - for a total maximum
of 42 years of June through October extreme and relentless world-wide pantied
exposure and humiliation 'aversion therapy' along with the accompanying November
through April relentless, unimaginably painful and psychologically traumatic
no-mercy punishment spankings. Any women who so desired would not only have the
right to administer said no-mercy punishment spankings to me, but could make the
punishment sessions available for viewing via webcams etc..
The months of April
and May of each of the 42 years would be used, with the assistance of female
psychologists / psychiatrists to absolutely obliterate my ego and drive the
message and programming deep into every recess and neuron of my unconscious,
subconscious, and unavoidably conscious mind the feeling realisation and
cognisance of an unimaginable degree and amount of shame and embarrassment - so
much so that I will be forever wishing that I could crawl under a rock to hide,
feeling the inescapable waves of humiliation wash over me, knowing full well
that I will be instantly recognised by all women no matter where I go, and will
unavoidably and continuously be subjected to extreme public contempt, ridicule,
derisive verbal abuse, and be universally the object of hysterical, scornful,
derisive laughter absolutely everywhere for all of eternity.
The female
psychologists / psychiatrists would do their best to make sure that I was as
cognisant of why I should feel embarrassed and to impress on me how much I
deserve to feel ashamed and embarrassed. These prescribed extreme pantied public
exposures and unimaginably painful spankings and degradation would be continued
in all probability for as long as I live, and I will hopefully be remembered
around the world forever for repeatedly showing off the backside of my panties
for women around the world to see.
Hopefully my pantied fame will be so great
that I will end up being universally ridiculed and scornfully laughed at for all
of eternity.
If I breached the agreement / contract / indenture requiring me to
submit to the 'pantied exposure aversion therapies' and 'attitude adjustment
spankings', then extreme penalty clauses would be authorised, triggered and
could be enforced - including very unsafe, insane, non-consensual punishments
administered to my testicles, buttocks, and anus - all of which would be filmed
/ watched live on webcams / or otherwise made publicly available as a future
warning to would-be perverts. I would be warned before signing these legal
documents that these the administration any of these unimaginably painful
punishments SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS AND WOULD NOT under any circumstances
be recommended, as there would be a very high probability that they would cause
permanent, disfiguring and disabling injuries with a significant risk of causing
death.
I HAVE REFRAINED FROM WRITING DOWN WHAT THEY ARE, primarily because I am
too afraid that I would eventually end up on the receiving end of ALL of them,
and, of course, because if I were punished to death it would deprive women
around the world from having the satisfaction of watching me receive the kind of
extremely severe, repeated, relentlessly cruel sadistic and merciless punishment
/ torture-spankings.
After all, I certainly not would want to deprive any women
of the amusement / entertainment / enjoyment / satisfaction of seeing me not
only getting put in my place, being punished, humiliated, degraded and on the
receiving end of unlimited world-wide pantied exposure, of having the
satisfaction of seeing me on the receiving end of endless extreme universal
scorn, and of knowing that I am and will continue to be realising the maximum
amount of never ending and unimaginably extreme embarrassing pantied public
exposure and humiliation in addition to having the satisfaction of seeing me be
on the receiving end of repeated, relentless, ferocious, unbearably severely,
unimaginably painful and traumatic no-mercy punishment spankings for failing to
cooperate sufficiently in my own
If you are considering answering any of the
questions in my blog post reader's poll, I hope that you will first take a look
at the following photos of me 'presenting' (bending over) in ladies nylon
panties while holding out suitable spanking implements (bathbrushes). :D
Blog readers poll:
Question 1:
Should I be made to submit to the public pantied exposure aversion
therapy suggested above while wearing women's fully opaque full coverage full
brief nylon panties?
Question 2:
Should I and/or the women helping to cause me
to acquire the pantied fame I begged for take whatever measures are necessary to
ensure that my pantied public outings actually happen, repeatedly, and that they
my pantied exposures get universally covered in news media to such an extent
that it will guarantee that every woman on the planet will recognise me on the
street wherever I go?
Question 3:
How many spankings and re-spankings do you
think I should receive on each of my punishment spanking days?
Question 4:
How many days per week and on how many days per month (minimum and maximum, if any)
do you think I should submit to / receive no-mercy punishment spankings?
Question 5:
On a scale of 1 to 100 (with 1 being the mildest and 100 being the
most severe) how severe do you think those spankings should be?
Question 6:
Should the nylon panties I wear when I am receiving the repeated no-mercy
punishment spankings alluded to above be see-through, so that both the women
spanking me and any women watching can easily see my bottom changing colours as
my ass cheeks turn from bright red, to beet red and purple, to deep purplish
black with raised blistered white welts and furrowed bleeding maroon weals on
top of large oval purplish black hematomas as the spankings continue
relentlessly mercilessly? Or should they be administered over fully opaque
panties so that viewing the spankings will be less likely to be restricted and
will be available for viewing by a larger audience?
Question 7:
If I am being
spanked in see-through panties should I have to wear a thong (or locking
butt-plug) underneath the panties for modesty?
Question 8:
If asked whether you
might be interested in helping make my most extreme pantied exposure and
punishment spanking fantasies actually happen, would you:
a) Decline to answer;
b) Be too too chicken;
c) Not be chicken but prefer to remain anonymous;
d)
Be
inclined to try to help make my most extreme pantied exposure and punishment
spanking fantasies come true!
Question 9:
Do you think this post should be
brought to the attention of women who are capable of and inclined to actually
administer the kind of punishment spankings referred to above and might be both
capable and interested in helping make sure that I actually receive the maximum
possible pantied exposures, frequent relentlessly severe punishment spankings,
unimaginably extreme and irreversible psychological trauma including the
permanent total obliteration of my ego?
Question 10:
In addition to being
recorded in photos and in videos, do you think my pantied exposures and
subsequent punishment spankings should be made available for viewing live on
web-cams, for zoom viewing etcetera?
Question 11
Should any links for web cam
requests also have links available for donating money to battered womens'
shelters and sexual abuse victims?
Question 12: Do you have any questions,
alternative ideas, or some suggestions? Please don't be shy and please don't
bother being diplomatic!
COMMENTS WELCOME!
P.S.: Please feel free to leave links
to your fashion blogs and/or humiliation blogs and/or spanking blogs etc. etc..
;D Spanks!
